I have to say, I’m loving the 21 day project missions so far. Each morning I get an email that starts me thinking about my missions. It’s a great way to start the day!

Thursday’s mission was to ask myself the Five Fateful Questions.

1. What am I waiting for? 
   • The answer to this question is almost always an excuse I think. Sometimes, there are good reasons to wait for something. But often, they are just excuses that get in the way of acting. I will try to differentiate excuses from legitimate reasons for not doing something.
2. What would I do if I weren’t scared?
   • I’m scared of lots of things. Imagining what I’d do if I weren’t scared is a really good exercise. But not being scared is a whole other can of worms. How do you change your view to no longer be scared of something? A few things that come to mind would be, go sky diving, make better decisions (or decisions at all), and feel more confident. Maybe, I need to make a list of things I’m afraid of.
3. What steps would make things easier? 
   • This is great. I like being able to break things down and figure out how to tackle a problem in steps. Taking time to think about how I could make things easier to achieve instead of letting it overwhelm me. Sometimes it feels hard to sit and think about how to do this. But I really think it would be good for me to do.
4. What would I do if I had all the time and money in the world?
   • A question I’m sure we’ve all been asked or asked ourselves. I have always said that if I were rich I’d pay someone to drive me, pack for me when I travel, and cook me tasty nutritious meals. People often find the packing request odd. It totally stresses me out. In fact, getting dressed every day stresses me out. I’m sure this is because I often feel like I don’t look good in my clothes. Sometimes I do. At those times, i’m excited to get dressed. But packing for a trip combines multiple days of deciding what to wear into one compact event. The result is super stressful. Decisions that came from thinking about this question…Try to pick out my clothes the night before. Then I don’t have to hurry in the morning to find something I feel comfortable wearing. Also, do something to help me feel more comfortable in my clothes (aka, get in better shape).
   • I think I’d also take the time and money necessary to attend to and resolve my medical issues. Finding the time and money to do this while working is very challenging and stressful.
5. What is the worst, and the best, that could happen?
   • I can nail the worst scenarios. Its a little harder to see the best. But I guess the best is what I hope for. And I try to make the best happen. At least at work. I’m not as good at doing it in my personal life. Lesson…define the best case scenario and use step 3 to figure out how to work toward that outcome.

Good questions to apply when trying to make decisions to move forward.

Friday’s mission was to ask a series of questions to help me know myself better.

• If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
  • Usually, less. I’m typically a rule follower. I don’t need to “push the red button”.
• Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
  • I feel out of control with my health. I feel like I just can’t catch a break. I try a hundred things. Something might work for a bit, then the problem is back, or something new has popped up. I try really hard to keep a positive attitude about this. I celebrate when things are going well. But there are days when its totally overwhelming and discouraging.
  • In control? I feel in control of making my life better. I can improve it. I can’t necessarily make it everything I want. I can’t fix everything. But there is much I CAN do.
• If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
  • Hmmm, say 4 hours free? I would probably try to see a friend and/or read. I would really like to take 4 hours of “me time” each week. That sounds totally doable, in theory. I think this is a goal to work toward.
• Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
  • I’m comfortable in a disorderly environment…to certain extent. I reach my breaking point where the clutter gets to me. And at work, I am much more concerned with order. For example, I hate showing up to a meeting with no agenda or decided outcomes. But my house is messy. My desk is a disaster. And every so often, I break and clear the clutter.
• Are you motivated by competition?
  • Nope. Can’t stand it.
• Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?
  • Absolutely. I can motivate myself to almost anything for anyone else. This is sometimes a detriment. I work to find a balance here. But have more work to do. My 3rd commandment from the first mission this week is to do what I CAN and only what I can.
• How much TV do you watch in a week?
  • Well, the tv is almost always on in the evenings at home. But I often am not watching it. I am usually doing something else. Working. Crocheting. Blogging. I often watch something while I eat dinner. Then move on to doing something else. I’d say I watch about 10 hours of tv a week. I’m pretty picky about what I choose to watch. I recently made this change (about a year ago) because I didn’t like how much time I spent watching crap. It felt like a waste of time that I’d rather be spending in a different way.
• Are you a morning person or a night person?
  • Night person. Definitely. If I had my choice, I’d work 10-6:30. I’m barely functional until 10. Sometimes I wish I could be a morning person. Get so much more out of my day. But 33 years, and no luck.
• What’s more satisfying to you: saving time or saving money?
  • Saving time. But I’m rarely willing to take a shortcut. Having time to do what I want is much more valuable. However, I have to say, I’m blessed to be in a fine financial situation. And I’m not much of a spender. I might feel differently if was concerned about my financial state.
• Do you like to be in the spotlight?
  • Not at all. The thing I was most worried about on my wedding day was being the center of attention all day. But I don’t mind talking in front of groups or leading training. But I don’t see myself as being in the spotlight in those situations. The topic at hand is what the focus is.
• Is your life “on hold” in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, get married, lose weight, move to a new city?
  • Being more active feels like it is on hold in many ways until my pain issues are dealt with. I work out several days a week. But I don’t go for walks, or ride my bike, or hike. I don’t look forward to camping like I used to. A week in the Boundary Waters seems out of reach.
• What would you do if you had more energy?
  • Walk. Spend more time with friends and family. Engage in creative activities.
• If you suddenly had an extra room in your house, what would you do with it?
  • Make a space to enjoy creative activities. Play my violin. Do crafting. Work out. Meditate.
• If at the end of the year, you’d accomplished one thing, what’s the one accomplishment that would make the biggest difference to your happiness?
  • Great question. And a really difficult one to answer. Quite obviously, whatever the answer is, that’s probably what I should focus on. I don’t feel I really know what would make me the happiest. That’s one of the reasons I’m doing this project. I want to feel settled. I feel my life is a bit in chaos. And not where I want it. I want to be comfortable in my own skin and find a way to make that me thrive. Solving my pain issues would have a huge impact on my happiness. I think what I’ll take away from this question is to contemplate my priorities.

I feel I am just getting started. Looking forward to the next couple weeks of missions. And figuring out how to put all this together.

-Teresa